


if i told you that i loved you

by blushminhyuk



Category: BTOB
Genre: M/M, kind of ooc for the both of them but its 2am and im too tired to change it sorry, this is just 2k fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 08:06:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12477068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushminhyuk/pseuds/blushminhyuk
Summary: "Hyung, do you like me?"





	if i told you that i loved you

"Hyung, do you like me?" Ilhoon asks the question so simply, like an ordinary question, that Minhyuk almost misses it.

 

A few seconds of silence pass, and then his heart drops when it fully hits him what Ilhoon has asked.  _Do you like me._

 

_Oh._

 

Minhyuk's whole body instantly freezes, worry settling in his mind as various questions hit him all at once. Firstly, how in the hell? There's no possible way Ilhoon could have ever figured it out, not in a million years would Minhyuk ever admit he's harbored a little, microscopic crush on the younger. He's made sure to completely conceal his feelings, he would even call himself an expert at covering up what he really felt, having dealt with this secret (or apparently, not so secret) crush for the past few years. He vaguely registers that his hands start to shake, and he's now mindlessly scrolling through the feed on his phone, praying that Ilhoon will think that he didn't hear the question and move on. 

 

Minhyuk wishes his luck would've helped him out this time.

 

"Hyung. Do you like me?" Ilhoon repeats, a little more sternly.

 

Minhyuk's fingers begin to scroll even faster through his phone, his mind going in panic mode. 

 

He's terrified now, and that's just an understatement. How would the younger even _react_ if Minhyuk told the truth? If he does, by some _miracle_ , say yes, there's the dreaded possibility of rejection that makes Minhyuk's stomach suddenly churn in the worst way possible. 

 

It's the last thing he'd want, losing their friendship that they've steadily built for years upon years, having gone through the worst and the best together, Minhyuk didn't want to lose that. It's common sense not to lose your best friend to an idiotic, little, microscopic crush. Not only would it hurt the two's relationship, it'd damage their career, their entire life. Minhyuk wasn't dumb, he knew the risks which is why he insists on keeping it to himself. Which is why he should, like any normal person, say no, he hasn't been crushing for years. 

 

But something makes Minhyuk reconsider just for a moment, a small ounce of hope somehow stems from his anxiety now rooting inside of him.  _If_ he did say yes, there's a chance Ilhoon might - 

 

"Hyung." Ilhoon is borderline raising his voice now, startling Minhyuk, (which doesn't help his rapidly increasing heart rate) causing him to drop his phone onto the bed. His fingers no longer occupy scrolling through his phone, now dug nervously into his palms. 

 

Minhyuk notices out of the corner of his eye that Ilhoon's shoulders slack, a sigh escaping his lips. Ilhoon seems to realize Minhyuk's disheveled state, "Please? Answer?" he pleads, soft and a bit desperate this time. 

 

And yet, despite him feeling guilty now for not answering Ilhoon, Minhyuk still refuses to speak. Not trusting his voice to spill everything right then and there. He refuses to even face the younger, too scared to even think about what kind of expression he bares. Would he look mortified that his best friend is in love with him? Definitely. Would he look completely disgusted in his best friend for having a crush on a guy? ..Probably. They've never had a discussion on their sexuality, where they grew up it wasn't normal to think someone was anything but straight.

 

An entire minute passes, which feels like forever for both of them. Minhyuk feels his bed dip down as more weight is added. He hadn't even notice Ilhoon getting up from the other side of the room due to his mind being in a frantic frenzy. Minhyuk internally screams, and honestly if the bed swallowed him whole so he could avoid possibly the worst situation of his life, he really wouldn't mind.

 

Minhyuk's whole body tenses as he doesn't know what to do or expect. Ilhoon just sits there, though. Hands in his lap, being as patient as he can. 

 

Minhyuk takes a deep breath in, unwinding his sore fingers from his palms, and quickly attempts to calm his nerves. He licks his now dry lips before starting, 

 

"Of course I like you. You're my best friend." 

 

It was the dumbest, most oblivious answer he could muster but he had to post pone his undeniable fate somehow. The fate being that by now, it doesn't take a genius to piece together why Minhyuk has taken so long to answer. If he didn't like the other, Minhyuk could've laughed it off with a casual "no, what are you talking about?" and the two would eventually go back to their usual, comfortable silence. But that isn't the case. Minhyuk knows that Ilhoon is already aware of the truth by now. He was just waiting for the elder to admit it. 

 

Ilhoon doesn't even bother answering that question, choosing to stay silent for awhile, probably wondering why Minhyuk would even bother with such an answer. The air suddenly grows unbearably thick with suspense, neither know what to do or say and the only sound resonating through the small room is Minhyuk's noisy heart, which is about to leap out of his chest any minute now. And the calm and yet uneven breathes of Ilhoon. It's true they're used to silence, when together they've grown accustom to it. The longer they know each other, the less they realize they need to vocally communicate, just simply understanding each other. But not now. The quietness was awfully awkward and he had not the slightest idea what Ilhoon could be thinking. But what Minhyuk is certain of is the gaze that bores into him, still waiting for an answer that never seems to come. And Minhyuk thinks it would be best if he just ran out of their room at this point. 

 

Wordlessly, Ilhoon shifts closer to Minhyuk so he's completely in front of the older, their knees knock into each other by accident, and Minhyuk can feel his hands start to shake again. Ilhoon isn't even that close, yet Minhyuk feels suffocated by his presence. He feels like he's going to be sick as Ilhoon moves again, his hand hesitantly reaching for Minhyuk's own. 

 

"Minhyuk," another sigh, as he latches both their index fingers together. Minhyuk doesn't deny the touch, but lightly shivers, locking his eyes to their laced index fingers. He bites his lip at the sight, hard enough to nearly draw blood as he questions to himself what the hell Ilhoon is doing. 

 

"Can you look at me?" Ilhoon asks slowly, and as calmly as possible. Knowing that if he makes one slip up, if his tone comes off as anything more than calm, collected and kind, Minhyuk would actually run away. 

 

Looking Ilhoon in the eyes is the very second to last thing he wants to do right now. The first being to actually confess. He's not sure if he can ever look at Ilhoon again after this, fearing the disappointment that would fill his eyes.

 

Ilhoon gives him time, but Minhyuk shakes his head. Still not having the will to look up, to tear his eyes away from their locked fingers. Ilhoon's free hand comes up to lay on their interlocked hands, and Minhyuk feels even more sick. Especially when Ilhoon begins to trace little shapes on the back of Minhyuk's hand. Minhyuk thinks that he's never seen Ilhoon be this patient, this gentle with him, It doesn't help the aching feeling in his heart, doesn't help him to stop falling. His stomach does the churning thing again.

 

Minhyuk sharply inhales at this, which greatly alarms Ilhoon, because the younger is one hundred percent sure Minhyuk has been nearly completely mute for the past four minutes. 

 

And Minhyuk isn't sure where his sudden courage came from, he doesn't want to admit Ilhoon's kind of lame way of reassuring him is actually working, but suddenly he's asking, "How did you know?"

 

"I wasn't completely sure," Ilhoon almost immediately responds, "maybe iv'e been watching too many dramas recently, but you sometimes act like a school girl with a crush."

 

Minhyuk blinks, his head shoots up and his cheeks grow warm, "What? I - wait -" he sputters, so surprised that he almost doesn't process that he actually managed to look at Ilhoon. He suddenly backs up, quite literally taken aback at the sudden rush of looking at Ilhoon. He unintentionally tears his hand away from Ilhoon's. It was an accident, he swears. A flash of confusion and hurt crosses Ilhoon's face, just for a split second, and Minhyuk swears he's already fucked up, but he grabs the hand back as quickly as he pulled away from it. 

 

Shock and mild amusement quickly replaces Ilhoon's emotions before, as Ilhoon tries to not to let out a laugh at how fast that all happened. 

 

"Shut up," Minhyuk quickly says before Ilhoon has a chance to laugh, his cheeks are dusted light red from embarrassment. Unsurprisingly, Ilhoon had failed at holding in his laugh, and the whole room is filled with it. Minhyuk figures he's past the whole butterfly-in-stomach phase, but proves himself wrong when his stomach does flips at the sound of his cute laugh. Minhyuk holds onto Ilhoon's hand a bit tighter. 

 

"I was just joking, hyung." 

 

Minhyuk just huffs in response.

 

The quietness was about to return, until Minhyuk broke it with something that's been bugging him this whole time, "I didn't even do anything for you to catch on about..." Minhyuk trails off, all those emotions from before hitting him like a tidal wave again. Ilhoon basically knows by now, it's no secret, but he still doesn't have the courage to actually admit it. Which brings him back to his dilemma in the first place. He darts his eyes away from Ilhoon's, looking at some random object in the room instead, "...that."

 

"Do you.. remember when I asked you to describe the person you like?"

 

Minhyuk switched his gaze back to the younger at that, caught off guard that he still even remembers that talk from nearly two years ago. Especially since it happened so randomly one late night, Minhyuk had crawled into Ilhoon's bed, (Ilhoon used to hate when the older did this, wanting nothing more than to have his comfy, small bed to himself.) telling him he couldn't sleep that night. This happened quite frequently, it still does, much to Ilhoon's dismay. But deep down, Minhyuk knows Ilhoon actually enjoys it. He's aware he enjoys their late night talks when Minhyuk is too anxious about something so he seeks Ilhoon out, the older could talk for hours about the trivial of things to get his mind off life, until exhaustion takes over and one of them ends up dozing off. At night, when Minhyuk was near sleep, was one of the few times Minhyuk actually got to talk a lot. The majority of his friends were so outgoing, so talkative, Minhyuk never found the need to equal their loudness. He liked it that way, not too loud and not too quiet. Ilhoon was similar, sometimes more lively, but on Minhyuk's quiet days he helped balance that out. It's cliche, but their personalities fit together perfectly, maybe that's one of the reasons why he fell in love. 

 

And one night, just out of pure impulse, Minhyuk had asked a rather personal question; if Ilhoon liked anyone. At the time, Ilhoon constantly had all his walls up, and never liked to let anyone in, especially on such a trivial subject. Which is why Minhyuk never believed him when the younger claimed he didn't like anyone. Ilhoon had soon after asked the same question to Minhyuk, mainly to switch the subject off himself, but also out of curiosity. Minhyuk faintly remembers himself behaving similar to his current situation, except being 10 times sleepier back then. He eventually gave in that time, but only describing what "she" was like. 

 

"She's kind of around my height, younger, short hair, really cute and kind of bratty at times. She likes writing lyrics and -" Minhyuk stops himself, realizing he's giving out too much information, it was too risky. 

 

It all finally clicked for Ilhoon when the older got so flustered around him after he had finished spewing his adoration for his crush. Ilhoon didn't want to give it away that he knew who he was talking about, so he feigned distaste at the cheesy description, scrunching his face as he pretended to be grossed out at how much Minhyuk liked this person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I remember - wait, you _knew_? Just from that?" Minhyuk was bewildered that the other could figure it out from a simple, vague description. 

 

"There aren't many girls around your height, you know. And after some thought, it sounded like how you'd describe me," Ilhoon shrugs, "but it was.. just a feeling, mainly."

 

    Minhyuk nods, processing this all. He's been tip toeing around Ilhoon this whole time when in reality, the other already knew. 

 

"I was right, then?" Ilhoon means for this to be a question, but it comes out more of a statement, a fact that he's well aware of. 

 

Minhyuk looks at their still locked hands, and slowly nods. His heart thudding even harder than before in his chest. Minhyuk wonders how Ilhoon is so calm about all of this, wonders how he isn't revolted and as mortified as he thought the younger would be. Instead, Ilhoon smiles. His usual smile that makes Minhyuk's stomach flip again, makes him want to kiss the other right then and there.

 

Minhyuk still isn't sure about how Ilhoon feels about this, but he's sure now, it can't be bad. And that's enough for Minhyuk. It's enough for him to suddenly break out into a smile of his own. A wave of relief suddenly spreading through him, and it's the best Minhyuk has felt in awhile. Just knowing that his best friend won't abandon him over something as stupid as this, makes him feel wonderful. 

 

"Ilhoon, can I tell you something?" Minhyuk suddenly blurts out with a rush of confidence, and honestly even if Ilhoon would for some reason say no, Minhyuk is so positive right now that he'd probably still tell him anyway.

 

"Yeah, what?"

 

"I love you." 

 

And then Ilhoon leans forward, closing any gap between them. It's soft and sweet, hesitation still thick in the air and Minhyuk makes the slightest muffled noise in surprise, which Ilhoon in turn tries to stifle a laugh at. Minhyuk's eyes soon flutter shut in content, returning the kiss with even more tenderness as he feels complete bliss and  _relief_ all at once. And then Ilhoon pulls slightly away after what felt like an eternity, mumbling a simple "I know," against the elder's lips. 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry this is so Bad but i had to contribute to this little ship somehow 
> 
> also come bother me @lgbtobs on twitter.. i mean if u want


End file.
